..., surat cinta , internet, dan privacy...

Saya pernah menerima surat cinta. Tak penting siapa yang mengirimnya bahkan aku sudah melupakannya, yang kuingat isinya aduhai alang-kepalang.
..."kenapa kemarin tidak masuk sekolah? Sakit ya?
sehari tak bertemu rasanya kepala mau pecah"...
Surat cinta yang pertama kuterima ketika aku duduk di kelas 3 Sekolah Dasar, ternyata membuat hidup gadis kecil tak tenang. Jadilah aku sebagai pesakitan, diejek sekelas karena dianggap telah pacaran. Sebel...

Ibuku berusia 13 tahun ketika ia menikah. Merasakan pacaran pun tak pernah dirasakannya apalagi yang namanya surat cinta. Tiga adik perempuannya yang sempat merasakan pacaran menjadi tempat mainannya. Hampir setiap malam terdengar suara cekikikan dari lantai dua rumah kayu yang kami tinggali.
" dear..nani, bisakah kita bertemu di panyingkul dekat kampusmu, dimana selalu kulihat binar indah matamu?"
ha...ha...ha
" aku rela empang dan ladangku melayang asalkan bisa hidup semati dengan dinda seorang!
Ha..ha..
Ternyata ibuku itu menjadikan surat-surat cinta adik-adiknya sebagai hiburannya.

Sayangnya, ibuku tak hidup di zaman putri kecilnya.
Dia tak tahu tiga untai kata bisa membuat hidupku melayang-layang sampai tidak bisa tidur.
Tiga untai kata tak memerlukan pinsil maupun kertas.
Cukup tidut..tidut..smsku berbunyi...tidut..tidut..begitu bunyinya (dikutip dari lagu)
Andai, ibuku masih ada, pasti hpku akan tidur bersamanya setiap malam.

Ibuku pun tak sempat melewati zaman menjadi nenek.
Ia bahkan tidak melihatku tumbuh menjadi sama sepertinya,dengan bola mata yang indah yang membuat ayah ziva menjadi alang kepalang.

Hari ini teknologi membuat hidupku berada di langit ketujuh.
Dipagi hari saya terbangun oleh kecupan mesra sang Ayah.
Dia tersenyum bahagia...bernyanyi-nyani kecil (walaupun perutnya sakit)..sambil tersenyum-senyum simpul. Yang pasti bukan karena surat cinta apalagi sms.
Jika ibuku ada pasti dia penasaran mencari surat cinta yang kusembunyikan atau hp yang bunyinya kusenyapkan agar tak terdengar olehnya.

you've got a message...
Begitulah kata pembuka dari laptopku hari ini.
Setelah kubuka barulah kutahu dari mana datangnya senyum simpul itu.
Sang ayah membaca "blog-ku".
Pantesan semalam lama nian dia baru ke dekatku.
Seandainya ibuku ada, betapa herannya dia...
Mengapa surat cinta untuk diriku ataupun sms untuk personal numberku setengah mati di sembunyikan olehku padahal sesuatu yang bernama blog dan multiply itu yang akan dibaca seluruh dunia?

Ibu, zaman kita memang berbeda.
Di zaman ibu, cukuplah dua hati sejoli yang merasakan cinta.
Di zamanku getaran hati kami biarlah dirasakan juga oleh pembaca lain...

ps. i miss u mommy!

...ternyata,aku bertemu dia...

23 Agustus nanti, genap 14 tahun sejak pertama kali aku mengenalnya.
Lelaki itu hitam, kurus, tinggi, tegap dan rapi.
Biasa saja. Itulah penilaian awal pertemuan itu.

Pertama kali pulang bareng, dia tak mau duduk di belakang bersamaku dan penumpang lain di pete-pete.Dia sengaja duduk di samping sopir bermata sendu itu.

Orang lain gagal menemui kejernihan jiwanya. Tapi aku tidak!
Dialah orang yang akan mengantarku pulang, berani bertemu ummiku jika ditanya mengapa tak sekolah?. Dia pulalah yang berani memasang badan saat ku dikeroyok senior-senior bang**t itu!
Dia merelakan telinganya mendengarkan bualan kosongku.Dia pula yang mendengar keluhan-keluhan tentangpacar-pacar sia***n ku.

Pernah aku kehilangannya, suatu waktu.
Denting cinta mengalun di hatinya.Namun,
Perempuan tercintanya itu gagal menemui kemolekan hatinya.Tapi aku tidak!
Dari jauh kumelihatnya dengan mata jiwaku.
Hai perempuan yang dilanda cinta, tahukah engaku siapa lelaki yang berdiri disampingmu itu?
Dialah lelaki tak berayah yang akan menanggung keempat adik beserta ibunya, kelak.
Dan di waktu bersaamaan akan menanggung anak dan istrinya tanpa mereka kekurangan sedikit pun.
Sayang, perempuan itu tidak bisa melihat cinta sebenarnya di dalam jiwa anak muda itu.

Lelaki itu,...
Mengenalkanku dengan rasa aman.
Dia menjadikan dirinya saudara, teman, bahkan musuh sekalipun untuk melindungi orang-orang di sekelilingnya.
Darinya kulihat santun, lembut, hormat. Bukan pada perempuan terkasihnya.
Tetapi kepada semua perempuan.

Sayang, dia bukan James Bond sang flamboyan.
Cintanya hanya untuk kekasihnya tercinta bukan pada perempuan A maupun B yang bisa sekaligus dipacari.

Akupun sempat buta menilai keindahan hatinya.
Dengan sengaja aku membandingkannya dengan lelaki lain.
Tapi, tentu saja cuma aku yang bisa melihat keindahan mulia hati lelaki ini.

Di pagi hari dia harus bekerja untuk anak dan istri beserta ibu dan adik-adiknya.
Tak jarang dia harus menjumpai anaknya ketika sang buah hati telah terlelap.
Cuma aku yang mengerti keindahan senyumnya.
Dia lelaki yang mudah dibahagiakan.
Cukup berikan dia senyuman istri dan anaknya, maka lengkaplah dunia ini untuknya. Cukup Tuhan inilah duniaku, katanya!

Tapi ternyata, kemilau hatinya tak cuma diketahui olehku.
Teman-teman lelakinya mengerti arti seorang sahabat darinya,
Orang lainpun tahu dimana tempat meminta tolong jika lelaki itu ada.
Orang-orang di sekelilingnya sangat tidak segan meminta tolong padanya.
Bukan karena dia kaya, mampu atau berlebih.
Tapi dia punya hati untuk melakukannya.

Kemarin, saya kembali menemuinya.Dia masih biasa seperti dulu.
Tubuhnya tak kurus seperti dulu lagi, hitam kulitnya tetap sama,
Tapi dia tak rapi lagi.
Kini dia ayah seorang anak,
dia termenung menatapku
"...apakah saya jahat, sehingga cuma kali ini saya meminta tolong, tak seorang pun datang membantu...?".Cuma dua kali saya melihatnya sedih, ayahnya mati di usianya yang ke 17 dan saat ini.
Dan hari ini genap aku mengenal dirinya yang lain ketika Dia berujar
"Bunda, setidaknya itu membuat saya lebih baik, karena saya tetap bisa membantu orang di saat mereka tak bisa membalas pertolonganku kepada mereka....."
Iya, dialah teman hidupku sejak 1,8 tahun lalu.
Aku bertemu dengannya...di rumahku sendiri.
Di depan mataku sendiri kulihat betapa mulia orang di depanku ini.
Sungguh beruntung aku dan ziva adalah bagian dari hidupnya.


:: ps. I love you daddy!

Pray for me please!!!

I need more spirit to accomplish my Jobs here.
As a mom to child rearing my baby...
As a wife to take care all my household
As a student to finish my thesis...

y' all can lend me your hand by cleaning my house, packing all my staff, cooking some meals, washing my clothes, or if you don't have more time just give me a call...
At least mention my name if you're praying.....

Thank you

Pay It Forward

Part 1.
As far as I am Concern I've watched the best film ever five or seven years ago. I am not really sure when it was exactly. I just remember the way that film influence me much like somebody knocks on my head and say "hello...heloo....is somebody here?"

I never forget, the day right after I watched the movie, in the humid,cloudy day , I went out for nothing but find someone who really need "some helps"... trying to figure out what was the movie thinks what exactly the meaning of "kindness". Then, I walked out of my home tried to catch becak but none of them appeared. I was waiting for 20 minutes which was slowed down my will when one old lady passed by and offered me some stuff. Honestly, I ignored her at the first time but she pushed me to buy her ticket (ticket? not really it seemed like a letter form official office that legally alow them to ask some somey). I was feeling terrible at the moment. Can you imagine I promised to myself that day when I walked out the door I wanted to do nice things at least three times a day. Ironicly, I failed to keep it just before eyes.

While I was feeling terrible, one of my favorite becak passed by. I catched the becak and jumped into it, I left the women with nothing. I would cried......fortunately, my favorite becak's driver brought me back in my mood. He talked everything he wanted...FYI, I proud of his spirit to school eventhough he have to drive becak at the night and goes to school in the morning. One time I asked him when he did study. He said "I brought my teacher to his home and I help him to check others pupil homework! (I hope he continues his school until now).

Ok, back on. I did not what exactly in my mind when I gave him money more than usual. He's surprised and he's said " kaka' it is too much...".
"No...No... it's yours.....keep it and hopefuly it will help u one day.
What a wonderfull feeling I felt that day.

Three days laters, when I was sleeping in my room. Somebody rang the fence (not the door) and I found him standing there with teardrops in his eyes.
"kaka, terima kasih..kemarin adek saya ditabrak...untung ada uangnya kaka saya simpan"
"you know, at the time I could not do anything just cry...."

you never know that what you've done will really help someone....you never know.

Part 2
I was three and a half of pregnancy when I went on to footscray campus, it's about 1 hour from my home using tram, twice train and one bus. I had two appointments with my liason officer to give her my passport and my husband passport. After that I have to meet my lecturer to give her my assignment plus all the attachments.

I was really shocked when arrived at her office, I couldn't found my bag with passports,assignment, appoinment card, wallet, USB, everythings within. Oh my God.....
Then, I re-traveled again looked for my bag. I spent almost whole day to find my bag, including called every public transportation operator and met staff official of the tram, train, and bus. What was busy and tired day.

So when I thought I couldn't got it back. I was sitting in the park just to calm down my self...and I wanted to say "innalillahi wainna ilahi rojiuun" to my bag while wondering how to fix them all (go to Indonesia embassy,Police officer, Commentwealth bank, Medicare, and many more). Sudennly, my phone rang...it was from Footscray Police informed me that they have my bag there. Someone had found it on the bench at Royal Park station, about one hour from footscary and brought it to police office at Footscray.

What could I say?
He's above watches his creatures in every single minute....
Allahu Akbar...

---pay it Forward, Sunrise, Channel 7---
Mebourne, 9.00

Gloomy, Time flies and everything is change….

Gloomy,…..
I woke up in this morning, trying to catch up some stuff.
And suddenly, I miss all my friends.

Yesterday, I called my best friend I ever have in my life, she’s like heaven gift from above for my family and me. She’s the only reason I’ll come back to the place called home. She’s friend of anyone and I really miss my home town because of her…Anna.

Today, I remember my other friends. We had been met by time, place, and sense of working. One of them called our friendship tucin which means Tujuh Tanda Cinta. I do not know where that means come from, oh maybe because at the time we were desperately need someone who be loved and to be loved. Ha..ha..

Time flies, it was 2003 when we’re together in the same office. Bulusaraung no.2B. We shared our happiness, tears, and joyful together. Did I say tears? Yup, exactly… There were many tears in that office. Tears of director’s regime (can you believed, we get punishment just because we’re late for Yasin-an which was not including in our job description and that was 6.30 in the morning…). Sadness arisen if one of us resigned and many more. As time flies, one by one found a better life outside. Dida had resign and moved to other bank company. Followed by Lia (the most beautiful women), Amie moved to next door office at the same bank. Nunik…I don’t know where is she now…and Hajerah who I called Mamie went to Tarakan to gather with her husband and 2 years old daughter. Yule ( businessman) is in Kendari, Pursuing her sales career now. Lastly, here I am in Foden st.Brunswick trying to remember the past. I miss them all…

I just recently reckon…all of them are women…….

Time flies, everything is changing…sure.
I hope everything is the same when I was leaving
But everything is change now…everything.

Maybe, when I come home….I just passes by Bulusaraung and I’ll tell Ziva.
“ziva..ziva..I was there at the time!”

Hopefully, I’ll meet anna….who could relive my past.
Even though…I realize she’ll fly someday…

Everlasting Nusery Ryhmes 2

Here are others Ryhmes that I sing when Ziva is in not in the happy day.

Goosie Goosie Gander
Goosie Goosie gander, where shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs, and in my lady's chamber;
There I met an old man, who would not say his prayers;
I took him by the left leg, and threw him down the stairs

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.


Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Sometimes she just want to hear a song to sing.

Three little ducks
Three little ducks went out one day
Over the hills and far away
Mamma duck said Quack quack quack quack but only Two little ducks came back

Two little ducks went out one day
Over the hills and far away
Mamma duck said Quack quack quack quack
One little ducks came swimming back

One little ducks went out one day
Over the hills and far away
Mamma duck saidQuack quack quack quack
No little ducks came swimming back

So mother ducks went out one day
Over the hills and far away
Mamma duck calledQuack quack quack quack
Three little ducks came swimming back.

Ziva loves to hear mommy sing lullaby when she is on her cot.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little StarTwinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky

When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye, 'till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark lights the traveller in the dark,Though I know not what you are - twinkle, twinkle little star.

Rock a Bye Baby Rhyme
Rock a bye baby on the tree top,When the wind blows the cradle will rock,When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,And down will come baby, cradle and all.

Everlasting Nursery Rymes

Ziva has favorite ryhmes. She laughs and plays everytime the music turn on.Then, I made a ritual to make her calm down, whenever she has not a happy day. Here are some her fave's :

* Little bo peep has lost her sheep
and doesn't know where to find them;
Let them alone and they'll come home
wagging her tails behind them

* Baa, Baa Black Sheep, Have you any wool?
Yes Sir, Yes Sir, Three bags full
One for the master, one for the dame
One for the little boy who lives down the lane

[...]

Lagi lesu,
Mungkin kemarin terlalu capek dan belum terbiasa lagi dengan aktivitas kampus.
Ziva juga keluhatannya capek, semalam tidurnya tidak nyenyak dan pagi ini baru bisa tidur pulas.

Sudah dua hari ke footscray ngurus thesis,
Alhamdulillah Tuhan ngasih petunjuk. Di tengah-tengah panasnya Melbourne, sambil membawa pram ziva plus setumpuk buku, akhirnya bisa juga ketemu supervisior plus berbincang-bincang ttg topik penelitianku.

Pas mau pulang, eh pa' Richard nelpon katanya ada seminar ttg pemeikiran Paulo Freire di kampus, jadi walaupun sudah setengah jalan pulang terpaksa pulang lagi, masih dengan Ziva.

Sialnya, seminarnya ternyata untuk kalangan internal alias kelompok kecil. Jadi sedikit saja Ziva mem-brurrr-- kedengarannya lebih keras dari suara lecturernya. Apalagi kan gerah, si ziva kecil protes, sambil ngoceh diselingi nagis plus tertawa-tawa, lengkaplah sudah saya tidak konsen dengan materinya...

uah...capek..semoga seminar minggu depan, ziva lagi di good mood.
Ada yang bisa jaga anakku, kodong?